Friday, December 23, 2005

The Slump Buster

Anyone who follows baseball, or sports for that matters, has a good idea what a slump buster is. For those of you out of the loop let me give you a clue as to what exactly a slump buster is. The basic definition is when you are struggling as a team or individually and can't seem to get out of your "slump," then you find a big, like really big, woman, get down and dirty with her and that will be the end of the slump.

My sophomore year of high school, we were having a pretty good season as a team and then our team kinda went into the tank. Paralleling the team's struggles was yours truly. I had been playing really well and then boom, I couldn't get a hit to save my life and my defense was starting to crap out as well. Needless to say all of us were trying to figure out a way to get back on track and break out of the slump. Enter the slump buster...

I had a friend in high school who's mom always seem to go out of town on the weekends and always seem to stock up on booze before she left so her daughter could have a party as long as people just crashed there. Well one night, just like any other time we partied at her place, we were drinking, flirting and just being crazy. We would play drinking games and have competitions to see who could rollerblade the longest while being drunk. At this point I'm pretty wasted to the point that I pass out on a lazy boy. I wake up a little later with a HUGE pink panther doll in my lap (like it was giving me head) and red nail polish on my shirt (which I first thought was blood and I went running around asking people who bled on me and that I hoped they didn't have AIDS, like I said I was drunk).

After I figured out it was nail polish I passed out on the couch once again only this time I woke up because someone was kissing my neck. It turned out to be this really big girl (think like 6'2" 230lbs) but with the alcohol still flowing in my system and the thought of breaking out of the slump I decided to go for it (not that I had much of a choice because at this point she was pretty much on top of me). We went back to one of the bedrooms and started making out. While we didn't actually do the deed, we were close enough to where I was confident that it would qualify as a slump buster.

As we were getting dressed some of my teammates saw us coming out of the room together and began to cheer. Everyone else at the party couldn't understand why they were cheering me on considering I had just scored with Sasquatch. One of my teammates turned to one skeptical guy, shook his head and said, "dude that was a slump buster"...


Blogger Gold Nugget said...

Sasquatch? Nice.
This is the real meaning of "taking it for the team." This type of sex, though grotesque to some, saves lives. Being in such a slump puts people's lives in danger. Whot's gonna take it for the team; you? you? It doesnt have to be when you got a Rican on you team. One thing they can always be relied on (not working) is "taking it for the team" and breaking that dreadful slump.
My hat goes off to you Rican for always being there to take it for the team, whether in a bar or to get out of a slump.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rican - Whatever it takes to keep those hits comin....

G. Nugget - I'm having lunch with Private Santiago sometime next week, you down?

- Yoni

9:19 AM  

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