Friday, October 28, 2005

Your First Time?

So I said that I would write about the first time I snuck out of my parents house. We lived in a 1 story house, that had a bathroom door that lead to the pool, which lead to the gate which lead out, so it wasn't too hard to sneak out. My brother and I talked about it a lot and for the life of us we actually contemplated popping the screens to our bedroom windows (and fight the orange tree that was outside my window) before we realized we so didn't have to do that.

So anyways, my girlfriend at the time C was gone for a few weeks and she wanted to see me that night. She got home late (like past both of our curfews) but she convinced me to sneak out of my house with the promise that she would make it worth it ;-) Being a total adolescent male, that's all it took for me to sneak out and walk over to her house (which wasn't too far way, maybe half a mile). The only problem was, her bedroom was on the second story of her house so I would have to 1)climb her fence then jump up on her roof and 2) dangle from the edge of the house to get into her window (since there was no roof below her window. Now nimble would never be the word to describe me, but back in the day I was pretty athletic so it didn't turn out to be much of a challenge at all.

I get inside her room and we do the standard hug, kiss, hello and she starts telling me about her trip yadda, yadda. Well we ended up messing around and lo and behold, it's not just my first time sneaking out of the house, but it's my first time...well you get the idea. So after some hanky panky (which I'm sure was quite comical since we were both Vs) we feel asleep nekkid.

I got up around 6 and told her that I should sneak out before her mom wakes up and sees me. She assured me that her mom NEVER comes upstairs before she leaves so it's cool for me to stay (my parents never checked on me either so it was cool at my house). C wakes up and ends up going to the bathroom. Not thinking much of anything, I just chilled in her bed waiting for some morning nookie. It seems that her mom had different ideas. For what C called the first time ever, her mom walked up the stairs to ask her something before she left to go to work. Who should she find on her daughter's bed? None other than your favorite Rican naked from head to toe.

Now to be perfectly honest, I'm sure if someone ends up like that in my house in my daughter's bed, there will be hell to pay so I understand her reaction now, but damn at the time I was like what's wrong with this bitch. So her mom starts laying into about what the hell am I thinking, what a bad influence I am on her daughter, how my parents raised a bad kid, blah blah. Seeing that I was still naked, I got up to grab my clothes. But no, Mama Bitch, wanted me to sit there naked while she yelled at me. She told me she wanted to teach me a lesson and would make me sit there naked listening to her. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before so I just sat there, let her yell knowing full well that I got mine the night before.

Finally, she kicks me out of my house (fully clothed at this point) and I begin my journey home. I had a noticeable bounce in my step because I was the first one of my boys to lose the big V. Then, I saw my mom driving toward me. With a shit eating grin, she asked me if I wanted a ride home. I just looked at her and got in the car. When I got home, my dad ripped into me about getting a phone call from Mama Bitch about how they raised their kid yadda, yadda. I think I stopped listening after he said I was grounded. After they were done, I marched into my room, tired as hell, crashed on my head and just smiled thinking...I got mine.


Anonymous Buddha said...

Dude - that is the most awesome story EVER!! Just keep a close eye on baby rican!!

4:10 PM  
Blogger shoes said...

my father caught me at home with a girlfriend and decided to sit in the room and lecture the two of us while we layed there naked with the covers pulled up. i could not contain my laughter, realizing even then how ridiculous that must have looked. she layed there dying of terminal embarrassment. like you all i could think of while hell lectured was how good it felt to bust one off.... and not be alone

8:21 AM  

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