Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Things Guys Never Want to Hear From a Girl

Here is a list of things a guy never wants to hear from a girl in one context or another. Feel free to add more if you can think of anything that I left off.

1) "Is it in yet"...uh I'm already done

2) "Wow I totally wanted to sleep with you too" (after your missed opportunity)

3) "I'm a lesbian" (when you lean in for the kiss after the Rican look)

4) "I'm not laughing at it, really, it's just cute"

5) "Size doesn't matter...really"

6) After you tell her it's not your porn she just found, "that's a shame cause I really like that"

7) "It's not your kid"

8) "You remind me so much of my brother (or friend)" when you try to make a move

9) "You are just too nice for me to do anything with you"

10) "Can we talk"

11) "I like guys that are a little soft around the middle"

12) "Damn I think I just got my period" (when you are planning on making the move

13) "I'd love to be with a woman, but I could never do it with you there"

14) "Do you think she's pretty"

15) "Would you mind if I didn't shave this week?"

16) "That's not the way (insert EX's name here) used to do it"

17) "Do you see anything different about me?"

18) "Man you are just like one of the girls"

19) "Do these pants make me look fat?"

20) "I used to be a guy"

Update:

21) "You were the last guy I slept with before becoming a lesbian"

5 Comments:

Blogger Gold Nugget said...

Did you consult with Homer for most of these?

3:45 PM  
Blogger Homer said...

haha, sad but true, i may make up 20% of these lines.... livin and learnin brothas, livin and learnin..

4:25 PM  
Blogger hanmee said...

On #8, worse yet, "dad". I said this hubby once early on in the courtship. He was making note of his gas mileage on his gas receipt and I had never seen anyone do that but my dad, and when I said it he seemed horrified.

5:56 AM  
Blogger Puerto Rican Angel said...

1. Another man's name while having sex.
2. It's not you it's me.
3. How many men she's actually slept with.
4. I can't have sex cuz I have (insert STD here) you should get yourself checked just in case.
5. My husband is being released today.
6. I met somebody else
7. can we just be friends?

9:07 PM  
Blogger hanmee said...

The flipside to #7: "It IS your baby."

6:01 AM  

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