Friday, July 01, 2005

A What Not to Say to a Prego Wifey Guide for Men

This is a post to all the fellas out there that might one day knock up a spouse or perhaps has a prego spouse right now. Conversation this morning:

Wifey: I'm having a fat day!

Rican: What do you mean?

Wifey: Well the clothes are getting tighter and I just feel bigger.

Rican: Well of course you do, I noticed that your stomach IS getting bigger.

Wifey: So you think I'm fat?!?!?

Rican: No what I meant was that your stomach is starting to show now so of course the clothes are going to get bigger because you ARE getting bigger.

Wifey: So I'm fat then that's what you are saying?

Rican: No not fat, just prego so naturally your belly will get bigger since Baby Rican is growing.

Wifey: Why didn't you say it like that the first time without having to point out that I'm getting bigger and that my stomach is getting bigger.

Rican: Sorry, I forgot about the prego hormones.

Wifey: Don't blame your ignorance on my hormones.

Rican: OK, sorry.

Fellas, when wifey gets prego DO NOT mention the weight gain. I thought this was the one time it would be OK to agree with the woman that she's getting bigger but if anything it makes the situation worse. Never tell her that her stomach is getting bigger and that she's starting to show. Lastly, don't blame shit on their hormones. WE know that their hormones and (I think) they know too, they just don't like it being thrown in their face. They really need to make a "how to" guide on dealing with prego wifeys.


Blogger Moral Turpitude said...

Oh I don't know. I think the "don't blame your ignorance on my hormones" part was really clever. She is my new pregnant hero. I can't believe you told her she was getting fat...

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

Welll....atleast your communicating.

6:13 AM  

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