Wednesday, July 13, 2005

10 Reasons I'm glad I'm a guy

1. I can say that I've slept with X amount of people and I will not have the same stigma that a woman has (I personally think this is bullshit because as long as the person is safe it wouldn't matter to me if they had slept with more people than Jenna Jameson...well maybe Jenna).

2. A guy can eat like a horse and all his boys will be like damn dude that was sweet, but when a girl does it, it's like damn she's just letting herself go like kirstey alley.

3. I don't have the part of the brain that women have that causes them to analyze every little thing everyone says...look when I tell you that I'm not hungry it doesn't mean I hate your food, I'm seriously not hungry.

4. The concept of paying someone a compliment of the same sex is not a foreign concept to me, granted this doesn't go for all women but some women have a big time complex with this. I have no problem saying something like man dude you are looking ripped you must have hit the gym hard where some women would say something like oh her boobs have to be fake if they sit up like that.

5. It seems like men get better with age where as society and some other people feel like women have a shorter shelf life (again I totally don't agree with this because I tend to think that women get better with age and guys start losing feeling "down there" when they get older but hey I'll take society thinking I'm sexy because I'm starting to have gray hair at 26).

6. I don't have to put up with cramping, moodiness, being bloated and bleeding for 7 days straight once a month, AND I don't have to worry about getting prego or giving birth!

7. I can get ready to go in about 10 minutes, including shower, shave, and dressed. Granted I might not be looking as hot as some ladies do but I can still charm them with the little bit of game I got.

8. I can grab my crotch in front of thousands of people and no have no one think anything of it, but if a girl did it, look out that bitch must have a yeast infection or some other nasty shit (when for all we know the guy could be scratching his crab infested balls).

9. I only need 4 pairs of shoes, black dress shoes, brown dressy/casual shoes, sneakers and sandals. I don't have to wear uncomfortable shoes to make my calves look good.

10. And last but not least when I get into the water it's not as easy to tell that I'm cold as it is to see if a woman is cold. Her nips will be at a full tension whereas you won't be able to see that my "thing" and his two friends have suffered so much shrinkage they have actually begun to go inside my body!


Blogger Danielle said...

Women age like fine wine baby, don't u forget it!!! good post!

8:56 AM  
Blogger Moral Turpitude said...

I generally spend about 10 minutes getting ready for class in the morning but there is a strategy behind that. I figure if I look really scary the professors will assume I'm ill and not call on me.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Cherry said...

Great post!!

I agree with you, that society in general is more accepting of aging men.

And as far as getting ready in 10 minutes, I don't think men would be to impressed with women if we had SHORT, short hair and wore no makeup. :)

And yes, the 7 day bloating, bleeding, crying thing totally SUCKS!!!

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmao i couldn't agree with you more!!!!

1:13 PM  
Blogger Janelle Renee said...

Great post, but go on, keep deluding yourself, dude! Being a woman totally ROCKS!

Stay tuned for a post about it in the near future...

: )

2:13 PM  
Blogger DannyNoonan said...

Shouln't your comments be called "hollas back" instead of "holla backs"?

I'm just sayin

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too funny! This one should be in "Best of FreakinRican". I hope that baby inherits your sense of humor.

7:25 PM  
Blogger Code Red said...

Great post, only thing that struck a nerve with me is I've got that "analyze everything, high sensitivity" gene and it really sucks since i'm a guy and all (no really, I am). Now, how the hell do I get rid of it, or show me how to embrace it, because its really putting a cramp in my style!

3:16 PM  

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