Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Can lawyers and athletes mix?

I totally miss being an athlete and all the joys of getting boo'ed and cheered on by fans and the different stuff that goes on in a sports environment. I never intended to be a litigator (trial attorney for you non-legal folks) but after I started thinking about ways that I could get the same kind of feeling in my future career I think I might have a change of heart. Here's how the two could be related.

When I am in court, I think I'm going to call all my friends and fellow law graduates to come to the courtroom and watch me perform that way I have plenty of "fans." After they show up (hopefully after some hard core tailgaiting outside the courtroom), they should stand and cheer when I walk in the door as I walk by high-fiving them on the way to the counsel table. Next, I think they should start yelling something like "plaintiff/prosecutor sucks" if I'm the defendant and vice versa if I'm on the other side of the scales of justice.

Then, I think when the plaintiff/prosecutor starts presenting their case, my fans should start chanting "De - fense, De - fense" and have someone hold up a big D with a cut out white picket fence. Next, whenever I object or the other side objects and the judge rules in my favor I think my fans should cheer and hang up the letter "O" on the wall of the courtroom like fans at a baseball game hang up the letter "K" for every strike out. Whenever the judge made a bad ruling against me or my friend's think that the witness is lying they should start yelling "BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT." Lastly, when the jury returns a verdict for me, instead of shaking my clients hand, I would go back and do a leap into my friends like football players do after they score a touchdown. What do you guys think?


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